By Maxamina Muro

We’ve decided that the next retro flashback "thing" should totally be the VALLEY GIRLS.

Like why hasn’t anyone thought about this before - duh? It’s the perfect time. There’s a Republican in the White House, guys are wearing mascara, hair-rockers are making a comeback, and Madonna never left. So the only thing missing from the eighties are the valley girls, or Vals, as they’re known.

Now to get you back into the groove if you were around the first time, or to acclimate you if you weren’t, we’ve compiled all the best stuff from that era and packaged it neatly in this totally awesome article; so read on.

First let’s set the mood of the 80’s. It was the day in the sun for the ME generation. Self-centeredness ruled: me, me, me. That’s not such a bad thing. Shop till you drop was the mantra of the day, and consequently many people got into tremendous debt buying all their cool stuff. Excess was another buzzword – go figure. Ahh, the 80’s. Big hair and Dynasty. Spiky heels and New Wave. The rock band U2 was just starting out. It was all that, boys and girls.

The White House was Republican and the president was an actor. (no, really) Sandra Day O’Connor became the first woman Supreme Court Justice. Nancy Reagan, the first lady, started a war against drugs with the "Just Say No" campaign. One of the weakest ploys to get kids off drugs ever imagined. The wall of communism between Russia and the free world came down, effectively ending the cold war; reuniting loved ones and setting an entire population free.

There were a lot of contradictions. On one hand, the liberalism that started in the 60s continued. People were experimenting with cocaine and sex wasn’t such a bad thing, until AIDS showed up in the mid-80s. Tens of thousands were spent on works of art. Van Gogh’s "Sunflowers" sold for a $39.9 million in the early 80’s, while "Irises" sold for a then record of $53.9 million toward the end of the decade. Art thieves made a run on the market too by stealing 12 works of art valued at $100,000,000 – none of which have been recovered. Richard Simmons became a diet guru. Geraldine Ferraro ran as the first female presidential candidate. Jesse Jackson ran as the first African American candidate.

George Orwell’s book "1984" garnered lots of attention long after its initial publishing date in 1949. An Apple Computer commercial, considered the best commercial ever made, was based on the premise of "1984" and ran only once during Superbowl in 1984. Then there was the Prince song "1999," that got heavy airplay at the end of the era.

AIDS was discovered in the mid-80s, and unfortunately it wreaked havoc and ruined lives because we were just learning about it and didn’t know to protect ourselves. Many of the victims at that point in time had partied and sexed their way through the 70s without a care. This gave rise to the very conservative right who pointed a finger at the liberal thinkers with an "I told you so." As this movement picked up pace, parents and Christian leaders and those seeking to instill "political correctness" demanded that certain books and music be banned that were thought to influence children’s behavior. Among the book titles actually banned in New York public schools: ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," The Grapes of Wrath," and "Catcher in the Rye." Looking back it seems kind of ridiculous that titles that had been around for years were thought to cause the problems of the day, but had no effect what so ever on the previous generations.

The homeless population exploded as the gap between the haves and the have-nots widened. Junk bonds ruled and many people lost their entire life savings.

But let’s not dwell on the negative stuff because everyone knows the Vals don’t really care about stuff like that. Not only that, but also they live in posh suburbs and care more about shopping. Like totally okay. Quite royal when you think about it. "Let them eat cake" may have started it all.

The Valley Girl was a little different than these films, a bit more gritty and an instant cult classic. Released in 1983, it starred Nicholas Cage and Deborah Foreman. She was the Valley Girl from Encino and he was the bad boy from Hollywood. It has a classic Romeo and Juliet theme – imagine "like, hello, where art though?" It was not so mainstream when it was made essentially because the valley girl was a local San Fernando Valley phenomenon. The posh suburbs housed the collective group known as the valley girls who had an entire culture built around a somewhat snobby attitude and great clothes and hair. Someone got the brilliant idea to make a movie out of it. Anyway, if you haven’t seen it, rent it, it was a good flick.

We asked some older Vals what they thought of the movie and if it had any influence over them.

Former Val, Bonny Bachman, now a marketing coordinator says, "Loved it!"

Shion Queen, now a stay at home mom, "It was something to imitate."

The movie "Valley Girl" and the song "Valley Girl," sung by moon Zappa, started a nationwide sensation. Valley girls were popping up in suburbs across the US, even in places where there were no valleys. Girls were buying "Fer Sure: How to be a Valley Girl, Totally!" to get the inside scoop and to follow the trend of their soul sisters in a land far, far away known as the Valley. The trend was somewhat relegated to those girls whose parents could afford the look, and whose bucks could back up the attitude.

Deborah Foreman was the ultimate Valley Girl, besides Moon Zappa who sang the theme song which was in heavy rotation on just about every radio station across the nation. Deborah played the lead role of "Julie" in the film opposite Nicholas Cage. In the spirit of finding the Valley Girl, we found Deborah and asked her about the good old days.

                    VS: Were you living anywhere near the valley at that time?

                    DF: I was living in Santa Monica.

We totally asked her way more questions, but you’ll read those in a few paragraphs. For now, back to the retro campaign.

.

What exactly makes valley girl a valley girl you ask? Well one key thing is the lingo. Its called Val speak and goes something like this:

In order to master Val speak, a beginner can inject "like" and "totally" in about every other word and can sound like a Val in no time. For extra help, you can also go to the web site Valley URL at www.80s.com. The Valley URL will go to any site and translate the whole thing into valley speak. It’s really rather remarkable and it makes a boring technical site more fun. But don’t be caught off guard, Vals never ever veer from their speak. Ever.

We asked a few other experts how they mastered the Val thing back in the day. ErikaBanks, now a public relations director, actually owned a copy of "FerSure: How to be a Valley Girl, Totally!" and swears she followed it to a tee. She lived in Los Angeles at the time.

Amy DeZellar, now a web site editor, was one the valley girls who actually lived in a Minnesota suburb, far from the Valley.

                    DZ: Yes, I still do. Totally.

                    VS: Did you consider yourself a Valley Girl?

Alas, Every generation has a soundtrack. The 80’s great sounds ran the gamut from Prince, U2, Madonna, Pet Shop Boys, Flock of Seagulls, Warrant, Great White, and the list goes on. Ozzy Osbourn made a comeback.

As far as the Vals were concerned, the main stream New Wave sounds ruled the day. The music was super danceable and the girls were climbing the charts in various categories. Madonna busted onto the scene looking hot and sexy, a little trampy too – and she was quite demanding from what we heard. The Go-Gos were valley girls who ended up in the Hollywood scene and went straight to the top of the charts with some of the funest music ever. Gloria Estefan started the Latin music craze with her danceable, Caribbean styled pop songs modeled after the tunes from her native Cuba. Chrissy Hynde led her Pretenders to the top of the rock charts, while Lita Ford invaded the dude territory of hair-rock, heavy metal and slayed her axe with the best of them. Cyndi Lauper sang the song "Girls Just Want to have Fun" which is still the truth – isn’t it? These girls were gaining strides for all of us.

Deborah Foreman landed the role in the "Valley Girl" just two years after she graduated from high school. A model at the time taking acting classes - this was a plum role. And like the rest of us, she grew up. We were wondering what the original Valley Girl was up to so we channeled her through an ISP.

                    VS: You’re in a new movie. What ‘s the title?

                    DF: "The Ice Age"

                    VS: What’s it about?

                    DF: (I will copy what the breakdown says because I could not say it better)

                    VS: What character are you playing?

                    VS: It’s been a few years since you’ve acted, are you happy to get back to it?

What happened with some of the not so famous Vals? We asked what their concerns or goals were then and how their life has actually turned out.

Bonny Bachman of Tampa, Florida:

There now, you see, the Vals have turned out to be great women who are successful and still having fun. They have friendships that started with a "like do you want to come over Friday and totally watch my brother and his girlfriend?" Girls need to ban together even if it’s over something seemingly silly. It can create bonds from memories and strike up conversations over similar experiences. These valley girls were awesome and further more they were preparing for the day when they would enter the workforce in record numbers having to compete and form alliances to get ahead. The end of the 80s ushered in the grunge phase, people were depressed. Need we say more?

Here is some information so that you can do some further research and get the Val thing down.

Helpful wesites:

Valley Scene would like to thank Deborah Foreman for her participation (she’s totally awesome!) and would like to wish her luck with her new film, "Ice Age."